Whoa, where did October go? I can't believe we have been shoved into November already. The chill is in the air, and all the Christmas things are looming in the stores. My 3 year old happen to see the box of Christmas lights in storage and has been begging me at random times to hang them. Today would have been a perfect day to do that, but it didn't happen.
The time change didn't go as smoothly as it has in the past. Joel has been miserable all day! And he refused to nap because Gramma and Grandpa and Benj was here. So we've hit the 7pm mark and squeezing every ounce of patience left out of me to get him to bed for the night!
I have found that October was a month where my boys have tested me. It seems at the same time, Caleb hit an attitude where nothing I do is good enough and the slightest thing frustrates him and makes him upset. And I hear countless "I'm Bored" coming from his lips. He has developed an attitude that when he's tired, he thinks that all disrespectful talk is fine. It hit the fan this week when he spoke to me in an unacceptable way at school in front of many mothers. I even got glares which make me so angry, why do women think it's fine to judge you, as if motherhood gives you an entitlement to pass judgement on other mothers. I am not the type to raise my voice in front of an audience, nor do I want to discipline with a crowd of judgmental mothers. I asked him to wait in the van. And I still didn't have it in me to talk to him because I was done. I emailed Dave and asked him to talk to Caleb about how to speak to his mother, because I was beyond on the point of reason, I don't think he would care about anything I would say to him. So Dave spoke with him that night, just him and Caleb, and for the past few days, I've noticed he's been really trying to watch what he says. All at the same time Joel has discovered temper tantrums. I honestly don't remember my other two going thru this, but surely they must have and I've just chosen to forget. But patience is running thin in this mother at the moment. Who would have thought that my spirited 5 year old daughter is truly an angel!!!! It's usually her that I have issue with!
Amberly has been dealing with anxiety at school. She apparently doesn't like change so much. Finding this out had surprised me, out of my 3, she's been the most outgoing. But this has now changed, and she's very shy and holds tight to me. We have put her through a big change with church. We are attending a church that has 4 times the amount of children she's used to! Her class has about 10-15 (just 5 year olds, that's a lot!) I don't know if this change has reflected the change in school, but she's become the teacher's shadow and stays close by her side. Hoping with time, she'll get over this and return to her outgoing self. She's loving being a spark, so up her alley the crafts and girls!
With the year quickly coming to an end, I'm really beginning to realize how really we are like vapors in the wind, shadow in time. Trying to hold tight to the time I have and really make use of my day. But some days I do just want to stay in bed all day, in the comfort of warm covers and silence.....
