The last day of 2016

Well, it's here, the last day of 2016.  I know that I shouldn't be glad to see a year over, but honestly, 2016 isn't one I'm going to fondly remember.  It was a year filled with worry, fear, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, tears, irritation, sadness, grief and brokenness.  I know that aside from all of that, there were happy times, joy and peace and comfort.  But it's definitely I year that was tainted with pain.  A year is a year though.  And a new one is a day away.  I can't say that 2017 will turn it all around and be the best year ever.  I don't even have hope for that.  What I do hope for is that for each new day, my heart will be fully tuned in to all that will happen, that I will see and count my blessings, and that anything that is thrown at me, I can withstand.  Most of all, I hope that love fills every corner of each new day.

Friends invited us for a fun round of bowling!  it was such a great time, I love seeing all these kids together and watch how they grow!  

Playing in the Snow Storm

Today was a good day to stay home, safe and sound.  But the kids were getting cabin fever, and apparently shoveling the driveway just doesn't do it for them!  We took them to the hill for some sledding fun.  When I took this video I thought we were pretty crazy.  But soon after, the sun came out and so did 4 other families!  So the kids were having a blast, we were out there for almost 2 hours!  Added bonus, since we were out for so long, dinner time arrived and we didn't have anything planned, so we got McDonald's!

Is it Just Another Day?

It's been 2 months now that my dad has been gone.  Two months of missing him.  Two months full of activities that I wish we could share with him.  Two months of not seeing him, touching him, laughing with him, hearing his voice.  Two months.  I hate to say it, but it doesn't get easier.  Some days feel great, but then something hits you, in the quiet of a moment and the tears swell up inside.  I have dreams where I see him again, but then sadly I wake up and reality greets me.  I replay those precious moments we had in the hospital with him, the words that were exchanged, the kisses, holding on to his hand.  It's all so fresh in my mind, and as sad as that may seem, I love those moments dearly, and pray that I will always have those memories right there when I close my eyes, if I want them.  Christmas has come and gone.  It was a nice time, but can't say it was what everyone hopes Christmas to be.  My heart was touched at church, when I received hugs and words of encouragement, and thoughts of my family.  That stands out most of all, and the day we had with my mom and all my family.  Amberly and Joel, I think they are fine, Caleb I worry about sometimes.  He comes down some nights and cries still.  He couldn't tell me if he would like a pillow made of Grandpa's shirt or a bear without crying and walking away.  He really had a special relationship with my dad, and it still hurts him, missing him so much.  But again through my tears of writing this all out, I think about where my dad is.  In heaven with Jesus, and how there is no pain there, only indescribable amazing joy. 

So I strive to have a glimpse of joy in my days Dad.  It definitely has to be intentionally sought for that's for sure, but it's there.  The Lord's love and grace finds me every day.

So here are some of today's moments of joy.....

I watched a video clip on millennials and how they are raised and how they turn out is no fault of their own, but of the world in which they are born into. One point was technology and the addictions of phones and tablets and how it's ruining our children's ability to form healthy relationships.   When I came down stairs after watching that, I find Caleb not with his tablet in hand, but his word search book.  This made my heart smile.

Dave shoveled a bit of the driveway before he left for work, but the kids and I went out to finish it later in the morning.  This precious boy of mine worked so hard helping me, starting with the end of the driveway where the plow left all it's mess and heavy slush.  By the time I got to the end to help him, he was pretty much done.


Amberly took to the snow which was great snow man snow and used her new kit from Uncle Benji to make a cute little snow man.




Full disclosure here, this skating trip today did not bring me joy.  These 2 children were miserable, Amberly couldn't skate in hockey skates, Joel's back was sore, Amberly couldn't go fast enough, Joel wanted Mommy to hold his hand.  There were tears, screams and embarrassment to be had.  So these two got home and went straight to bed!  It's the peace and quiet that I'm currently enjoying that has brought me joy today!

Sing!

Dave went back to work today.  The kids and I used some gift cards that we were given for Christmas and went to watch the new movie Sing!  It was a great movie, loved it all.  It was a real treat, being out in the theater with them.  

Skating Fun

It took some real convincing to get my family out the door today to head to the rink in Elora.  They complained, they grumbled.  But once they hit the ice, fun was had. 

We ended our evening with a movie night, Pete's Dragon.  It was a really good movie.  We all enjoyed it!  Caught these two snuggled up together.  Love it!

Christmas Activities Day 2

Woke up to a world of ice this morning which made me feel so disappointed for I feared that because of it we wouldn't make it to my mom's for Christmas.  But it was mild and we made the trip and safely arrived.

It was a great day full of love.  It was so great to be surrounded by my family.  My Dad would have loved today.  He would have enjoyed seeing the kids playing games together and decorate cookies together.  He would have loved all the chocolates that were being handed out as gifts.  There was his turkey leg leftover, Caleb and Joel sat where he would have sat at the table.  Lots of things made me miss him.  So apart from the joy, there was that little twinge of pain ever present.

The Day Arrived - Christmas is Here!

The day when Love came down.  God gave the ultimate gift, his son, to save us all, to save me.  Merry Christmas.  

Today I loved seeing all the Christmas facebook posts.  Face-timed my mom and Benji to share with them what the kids found under the Christmas tree.  We attended church, where I felt loved and cared for.  Dave's parents came bringing dinner so I didn't have much to do!  It was another quiet day.

I sit tonight by the tree with lots of thoughts.  With wonder, are we making Christmas something that our kids will love and store as fond, loving memories as they grow into adults?  Have we done enough to leave a legacy that we are proud of ?  Will they remember the treats that were prepared and eaten?  I wonder after a full day of Christmas in our home, what have my children taken and stored away as memories.  If only I could handpick those moments for them.  But I can't, I can only sit back and wonder if what I did was enough that has left a lasting impression.

As a girl who has grown into a 38 year old woman, married, with 3 babies, and has just lost her dad, the whole idea of memories have struck me in a more meaningful way.  Our minds are amazing what they remember.  Lots of memories of my dad are fresh right now.  I can close my eyes and relive those moments in the hospital, the words that were spoken, the kisses, holding his hands.  But trying to remember things when I was a child, I can't seem to force that.   Those memories just seem to pop up unexpectedly.  This morning, the kids were awake first (obviously, always are really) and they were waiting for us to get downstairs.  I came down, did a few things in kitchen and joined them in the living room.  They were so excited, looking at their full stockings and the gifts under the tree.  But they had to wait for Dave.  Then it hit me....when I was a kid on Christmas morning, it was the exact same scene.  All of us kids and mom were in the family room waiting for Dad who seemed to have fallen into the toilet-or so we would always question him!  I think some times we would bang on the bathroom door telling him to hurry up!  As that memory popped into my mind, I shared that with my kids and we all kind of giggled about it.  I hope to keep my dad's memory alive in those 3 precious children.  They need his example of love, grace and generosity in their lives.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

So with my traditional Christmas eve spent with my extended family being moved to another day, last year and this year, we had Christmas eve all to ourselves, with no where to be and not much to do.  It really feels odd to me, but I do admit, it's been nice.  For the second year we ordered from our favourite Chinese food place, this is a real treat.  So that was our special dinner, along side with Christmas cookies and treats sitting out for most of the day.  It was a very laid back day with movies, cartoons, and music.  Snapped some great family photos too...I love getting family pictures done, even though I have to manage it myself!  (Amberly has been suffering with a cold, that is why her nose is like Rudolph's!)

Yummy Tien Lee, in the dining room none the less!

Here's my little family who I love so dearly.

My hubby and I.  (yes, Dave is always that serious!)

My 3 munchkins!

Our lights outside with snow on the ground.  It's a white Christmas in 2016.

Their stockings were hung (except Amberly's, needs a hook and not close to the actual fire!)