The kids are in bed. They didn't go so happily, and I was angry. Something happened to Cinders the night before, I don't know what, I wasn't home, but she's not herself. Christa our saving grace (our babysitter who is also a vet tech.) came this morning to examine her. We figured she got hurt some how and needs to rest and be left alone. The kids don't understand this. I get that. I would gently remind them all day long to leave Cinders alone. Amberly had a few time outs because she would ignore my reminders. We were in the midst of our bedtime routine, the movie was on, the snack was over and the kids decided to ignore me again and kept going after Cinders. I started off with a warning. "If you touch Cinders we'll have to stop the movie and go straight to bed" I got a reaction out of both of them. Lasted only 5 minutes. I gave another warning in fact 2 more warnings. By the third warning, I followed through. I shut the movie off and told them to get their story they want me to read. Amberly acted out even more and found Ashes and stepped on her tail. Again I warned her, if she were to do that again, she wouldn't get her story either. She went and got her book and then returned to only step on Ashes tail again while looking at me straight in the eyes. I kept my cool and just took her book and walked her to her bed. She screamed. I said good night and closed the door behind me. She fell apart, crying and screaming. I continued reading to Caleb and got him to bed while she laid by her door screaming. Finally I went to her room and gave her a song and said prayers with her. She continued to sob and calling out for me to come to her. Sleep with her, sing to her again. I was heartbroken. Why does it have to be so hard? Everything in me wanted to scoop her up and read her a story and lay with her and cuddle her, but if I did that, she wouldn't learn her lesson. I fear that it was her that did something to Cinders, she is so aggressive with those kittens. Maybe it was my mistake for bringing them home in the first place? Maybe she's not ready to understand gentleness with baby kitties?
But I'm left here now wondering what have I done wrong? Am I breaking her heart as mine is breaking? I love her so much I can't even comprehend it.
No comments:
Post a Comment