"Your Loves is Enduring through the Winter Rain"

It's Tough Being a Woman

Well it's been a very long time since I've opened this blog and typed anything out.  Honestly, I feel like I've become lazy in certain ways.  Mostly in my relationships.  I'm so easily consumed with my family, that so much time passes and I haven't reached out, haven't made an effort, and sadly, haven't even thought of.  This also includes my relationship with Christ.  I will go through a day lost in all the tasks to complete, all the little people I have to care for and all the thoughts that flow in and out, that at night when my face hits the pillow, I quickly fall asleep.  I do feel like I'm in a season of just wandering around, not having a destination, or a goal to work towards.  I ask myself all the time, "is this normal?"  Granted 'tis the season.  It's winter, and it's true, joy is harder to find, and emotions are heightened.

This past week, all 3 of my kids have been sick.  First it started with Caleb.  He rarely is ever sick, but this time it hit pretty hard.  He was so sad, and miserable.  He uttered words like "I feel like I'm dying Mom" or "I just want to die it's so bad".  First of all, where did he learn this from??  I know he's 9, but he's still my innocent boy!  Those 2 days I had him home alone with me, I loved it.  These moments don't happen regularly.  And he needed me.  I sometimes mourn the loss of my babies, now that they are all grown up, and for those 2 days, I got my first born back, I could care for him in tangible ways, practical ways, and I was in my element!  But then quickly, I realized things I was going to miss out on.  Missed out on dinner at a friends.  As simple as it sounds, I was so looking forward to not having to cook a meal!  To leave the house and not worry about it being cleaned.  Basically I just wanted to get out!  Then the weekend rolled around, and my girl wakes up sick.  I was discouraged.  But after voicing my feelings to my husband (who is so awesome) he quickly arranged a night out with a friend for me, so I had that to look forward to.  I was able to spend my day comforting my darling who was down and out, all the while anticipating a night out.  Sunday hits, and my baby wakes up sick too.  Both were so sick with fevers.  So the nursing continued.  Be careful what you wish for I guess!  Caleb was still not 100%, but well enough to play and do things, the other two, I spent wiping noses, tears, and foreheads.  This continued on for 3 more days after.  But finally I can say that all 3 kids are back to school, maybe still not 100%, but back to a routine we work so hard to keep.  It's amazing how a full 7 days of sickness can bury your spirit.  But I'm coming around.

The new year brought a new Bible study for the group I attend.  I've done this study before, so again I felt discouraged when they announced the study of Esther by Beth Moore.  I wanted something new.  So my first thought was, "I just won't attend" and "I don't need to, I'll only be bored".  But I felt the nudge to sign myself up.  I came home and dug out my study book.  When I pulled it off the shelf, I was shocked at the condition of it.  The cover was all torn away, and some pages ripped or missing.  Funny, I couldn't remember that ever happening to the book.  I then was trying to remember when I actually did the study, and I really couldn't think of it.  I can visualize the homes we were studying it in, and the ladies in the group at the time, but I couldn't pinpoint on my life time line when it was.  But after looking at the condition of the book, I thought it must have been after Amberly was born, and little hands who like to tear things apart must have been the excuse.  Then I started to go through week one and when I was reading my answers, I quickly verified that it was after Amberly was born, because clearly I wasn't working with a fully functioning brain, my answers didn't  reflect the question in any way, shape or form!  So it's like I've never done this study before really!!!

The one thing Beth reflects on is the statement "it's tough being a woman....."  One of the activities is to fill in the blanks, with 3 different examples.  I'll leave you with my 3 finishing statements...

It's tough being a woman, when as soon as your feet hit the floor in the morning the responsibilities of everything that has breath in the house falls onto my shoulders, and I'm lucky if I can make it into the bathroom without someone noticing!

It's tough being a woman, when I feel like I have to justify everything I do to everyone around me.

It's tough being a woman, when guilt follows you everywhere you go.

Raising Kids in This Age of Techology

Today I feel angry.  Today I am mad.  Today I am sad.  Today I am frustrated.  My oldest son is soon to be 9 years old, and the desires and wants he thinks he needs are beyond our means.  For the past year, I've tried to teach my kids that electronics will not bring total happiness, and that Mom and Dad are not made of money.  No, we don't just go out and buy what ever their hearts desire in that moment.  No, money doesn't magically replenish in our bank accounts.  No, we don't need to keep up with the Jones'.  And I thought our lesson was sinking in, and I thought that they were beginning to look beyond those wants, and I believe they were truly living out a childhood with imgaination and play that doesn't require a controller, or a "sleeper", or a boat to be loaded, or a cow to be milked.  Until Friday when I received a letter from the french teacher in school asking for parents to let their children bring in their devices in order to do a project on a specific app. The letter states that their devices would be stored during the school day and only used during french class.

My child has become a minority in school since Friday.  He says he's the only one who hasn't brought anything in.  That everyone else has a tablet or ipod and he has nothing.  Now this may be an exaggeration (I know it is, because I know of at least one other mom who says she doesn't have one).  What's worse is I've heard kids brag about how they got to play their device all day at school, during breaks and recess, again something that my son has pointed out to me as well.  Going against what the letter stated about devices stored away for the day.

My children are not totally deprived.  They do have an iphone that is used only for games (it's my old phone that once my husband got an upgrade, we had no more use for this one, and instead of selling it, we wiped it clean for them to play).  I may be a stick in the mud, but I'm not allowing him to take it to school,  I refuse to jump on this technology bandwagon.  I strongly believe my kids don't need these things to make their little worlds go round.  I'm not saying that those families who have the means to give their kids such wonderful things are spoiling and ruining their child, I'm not saying that. I just wish that those privileges would stay among home life and not cross over into school.

Rant done....

The New School Year has Started.

Here they are.  First day of Grade 2 for Amberly (she's entering a 1/2 split).  First day of SK for Joel, and First day of Grade 4 for Caleb (he's in a 4/5 split)  Both Amberly and Joel cried when the bell rang.  My heart is aching, missing them all.  But I have Dave home today, and had my neighbour pop by for a visit, so I am not dwelling!  Just looking so forward to hearing all about their day when they get home!

Days of Summer #68

Last day of the weekend and of summer vacation.  We left the cottage and sunny Port Elgin behind.  Returned home, labelled and stuffed our school bags, and had a very low key at home.  Bathed and watched Annie before hitting bed a 1/2 hour early.  Sweet dreams my babies, loved every second of summer with you.

Days of Summer #67

 Getting ready for boating adventures with our tube!

 Caleb had no fear, he was the first out on the tube and had no idea what to expect, but that didn't slow him down, he's like his mama!

 He loved every second of it!

 This is the only happy shot of Amberly.  Her turn didn't go so well, the boat didn't take off fast enough which then pulled the tube under water and the rope broke!  Her short ride ended in tears, it scared her.

 This little guy loved the boat, loved being in the boat, loved riding, but had no intention of getting off the boat, no tube, no swim, nothing could talk him into those, he had his seat and that was it!

 Sunday night, met up with Deb and Shaun and family to watch the fireworks together.  Loved how the kids just reconnected even if it was over a year they've seen each other!

The happy bunch!

Days of Summer #66

Oh Labour Day Weekend, the last long weekend of summer.  Normally this can be a weekend of mixed emotions, but for us, it's an exciting weekend because we spend it at our friend's cottage in Port Elgin.    Arrived Saturday afternoon, and first activity was a boat ride!  Super FUN!!!

Days of Summer #64

Again, another hot day!  Again, spent the day in a pool.  Actually in 2 different pools!  We had a trip to Waterloo and ventured to Moses Springer outdoor pool.  There we met up with a load of friends and had a blast.  It even rained, and we kept swimming.  How often can you say you went "swimming in the rain"?  I did however forget to take a picture, sad I know.  But a friend did get one of a few of the kids before leaving!

Days of Summer #63

Wow these days are packed with heat.  High 30.  Spent lots of time in the pool today, and had loads of fun!

And my baby boy started the day off with a crash.  Poor guy.  Love him to bits.

Days of Summer #62

The date on the calendar says September 1st.  But the weather doesn't reflect that, so we shall continue on as if Summer will keep going.  Enjoyed the cool water at the splash pad today!  Love watching kids be kids!

Also made friends with ducks.

Here's the crew enjoying a swing ride.

And what's better then an ice cream cone on a HOT day!?!?!?

Days of Summer #61

Kittens.  Can't get much sweeter then that!

Days of Summer #60

We had some new friends over after church today.  It's been a long while since just hanging with friends after church.  They brought happiness over today and left evidence of that today.

Days of Summer #59

Baseball coming to an end....

Days of Summer#57

Had a day off from babysitting.  Indulged in a lazy morning, took a trip to the library, and then a trip to Mapleton's dairy with my parents and brothers for an ice cream treat.  I love that place!

Days of Summer #55

These past few days have been cold and wet and grey.  Today gave a glimpse of the coming change in seasons.  Although autumn and winter are favourites of mine, summer is only here for a short period of time, and I feel as though it's slipped away so fast.  Wanting to take in every ounce of what is left.

Staying fun indoors with a game of Sorry!

Days of Summer #54

It's been an incredibly long day, with lots of fighting, arguing, crying, timeouts, and this mama is just tired.  But how could I not smile at this moment, where they all played happily together, laughing, giggling together....

Days of Summer #51

Caleb has been attending Conestoga Bible Camp for the past 2 weeks.  Today was the final day, a day where in order to earn points for your team, you could dress up like an Egyptian.  Check out these Pharos!!!

Days of Summer #50

We took the training wheels off, he refused to try and ride his bike.  We put the training wheels back on, he refused to try and ride his bike.  But tonight we gave him no choice.  And all it took was a trip to the school and back to find his confidence and joy of riding!

Days of Summer #48-#49

Little girl sleep overs.  Fun, giggles, dolls, house, bracelet making and more!  These two first fell asleep together, side by side on a crib mattress on the floor, but I didn't get to capture it in pictures.  But I did catch them in their "Fort/bed" they created.

Days of Summer #47

It's so very hot today.  Thankful for kind, generous neighbour's who let us use their pool.