I'm a Mom

Well, I'm now a Mom. It's day 3 and I'm thinking I'm doing alright. Although my Mom who was here helping me went home half an hour ago and I couldn't stop crying. I guess it's what they call the baby blues. I'm confident in myself, and I'm so proud of my husband, we are doing awesome (hence the reason my mom felt she was good to go now as opposed to later) but my Mom is my safe haven, she was the biggest help ever, she got up with me all throughout the nights to help me nurse. Because Caleb is so big, and I'm so sore and weak, it's difficult for me to hold him upto my breast. She helped keep the house tidy, and taught us all she could, so now that she's gone, I just feel a bit nervous.

Anyway, here's the story of Caleb's entry into this world. Irony I say started it off! I was talking to Deb on MSN wednesday morning, and I asked her if she thought I should be taking my hospital bag to my doctor's appointment in case he decides something needs to be done that day, and she said no, that if something were to be done, Dave was going to have to come and meet me anyway, and that he could always get them. Well, I had just finished my shower at 9am, and I was drying off with the towel when I felt a little twitch down below, and pop, my water broke. I immediately hopped over the toilet for a bit. Then stress hit me fast as I noticed my water was a dark brown colour. I first called Dave at work and told him to come and get me. Then I called my Mom to tell her what was happening. (in between those 2 calls I accidently answered a telemarketing call from Direct Energy, but I was kind and said I don't have time goodbye) Then I called the hospital and they told me to come right in. Well I sat on a plastic bag in the truck, got out in the parking lot and lost heaps more water. I was drenched! Then in the hospital they assessed me, because my water was brown, it meant the baby had it's first bowel movement inside. At this point there was no contractions, but man the water kept gushing and gushing out! Then all at once the contractions started to come every 2-4 mins apart just like that. They quickly got me into a birthing room. My nurse went over options with me, and I said that I was going to take an epideral, but that I would wait a bit. I didn't wait long, as the contractions continued fast and they were unbearable. So the anstesiologist came in to do it, and it was awful, I was so scared I was shaking, and I was also going through contractions. But once I was hooked up everything was hunky dorey for the afternoon. It was about 5pm when I started feeling a pressure. I told the nurse and she said that was good, it meant my uterus was pushing down the baby. Well by 6:45 the pressure was so intense, the nurse not to push even though I felt a need to. But at 7pm, I said that I had to do something it was terrible. So another nurse assessed me and by that point I was fully dialated. So I started pushing. My doctor came in around 8pm, assessed me, and told me that he was going to have to help me. So in came the forcepts. I didn't look at them. But it was amazing, he was so great, I didn't feel much, and he asked me to push once and boom out came the head! (although he had to snip me unfortunately so I wouldn't tear) He was a big big boy. I think my doctor was proud of himself! Especially when the nurse said 11 pounds! He was shocked! I cried!

It was an experience I don't know how to descibe. I look at this precious boy and think, that baby was in my belly! I fall more and more in love with him when I look at him. I'm so proud of him and myself. I'm more passionately in love with Dave. He has shocked me beyond words. I was always worried about how he would be with our baby. He is so proud! He wants to show the world first of all. He loves just holding him, and he tells me that he could just look at him forever. Then he told my brother that maybe by this time next year we'll have another one! (I said there's no way of that happening, the after effects on your body after delivering a baby is awful, especially when there's stitches in an inappropiate place and can't go to the bathroom without some kind of terror, and you have to say out loud, "ok ok lets pee, pee pee pee!") He tells me that he loves our baby, and how beautiful he is. When I see him with Caleb, my heart doesn't know what to do with all the love that overflows. God is so amazing, to have created life in this way.

Anyway, I'm going to go and put my feet up, as they are balloons at this moment. I'm sure there is much much more I can tell you about how my life has changed in the past 3 days, but I think my fingers have had enough exercise tonight!

Thank you for your prayers! God answered them with many blessings of a beautiful, perfect, healthy boy.