How come when December came, it pushed out any room for patience? Each morning I wake with hopes the patience came back to me. And every morning I fail to see it anywhere. I'm to the point it puts me into tears. Just this morning I had hopes to run to the grocery store before swimming lessons. But the time it took for me to get my daughter ready stole any opportunity for me to get what I hoped accomplished. We were all in the van backing out the drive when I noticed that it took me a good 20 mins to get her dressed, leaving me no time to get to the store. I had to pull the van back in and take everything off that was put on. I've lost it. She pushes my buttons constantly all the time, and I've had it.
The youngest won't let me out of his sights. To pee, to get a drink to even walk from room to another he screams when he can't see me. When he is content is when he's pulling everything out of the garbage, the toy bins the clothes drawers, essentially creating a huge pile of chaos. The oldest has become addicted to xbox. I had to take him to the Santa Claus Parade dragging him along because he was so wrapped up in his game that nothing else would do. So my attempt to take that xbox away for good until the new year failed as my husband thought that was too extreme. Now the plan is to limit it for 20 mins. once a day. I do admit that it seems to have help some, but I think my plan would have been better.
Between working, being home, working out, not being able to indulge on a treat here and there, I think I'm losing my mind. I feel like Christmas is going to come and go and I won't get that feeling. That feeling of contentment. That feeling of happiness. I'm afraid all of those desired feelings will be taken and replaced with regret, frustration and just plain burnt out.
How come?
1 comment:
Oh Charlene...it is a crazy time of year. I have the christmas music cranked so I can't hear the fighting some parts of my days :)
With Joel, can you make it a peek-a-boo game? peek around corners at him and make him laugh over you leaving a room?? I don't know. I personally would set up a playpen and give him some toys and plunk him in, tell him he is fine and that mommy will be right back. He may cry but you could pee with privacy. He will get used to it and play rather than cry. I LONG to pee with privacy most days. Some days not only do I get two boys but I get the dog dragged in too...sigh
I've been doing an advent project with the kids called 'truth in the tinsel' and we are doing a small easy craft daily in the month of december and it is helping us all to focus more on Jesus and the boys to have the truth more 'real' to them (the older more than the younger...the younger just LOVES to make a mess with glue and glitter). I have found that this is helping me to slow down and 'enjoy' the days.
I have found especially at this time of year, that I need to make sure I am filling up myself with God rather than the world when I am empty and feeling low, otherwise I find myself yelling and more impatient. The tv is off right now. I know there are lots of Christmas specials and movies on that are great but God would rather I read my Bible, sing praises to Him and focus my few spare moments on my relationship with Him.
As for the x-box...your idea was not too extreme! but that is my opinion. I find it crazy how addicting it can be for children and I think it is terrible how they can crave technology. That is one of the reasons my tv is in the basement and I have decided no game machines until the oldest is 10 and even then it would be very controlled and regulated for amounts.
Have a great week!!!
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