There is and will always be that ever pondering question....Do I stay at home or go to work? Most days I tell myself that I have the best of both worlds. I work part time only 3 days a week and the rest of the time I'm home with the kids. I believe it's the best balance for me, it gets me out of the house, into an adult social setting, brings in some money. But there is always that sense, is it all really worth it?
This morning Caleb woke up and went right into the bathroom. After a few seconds he ashamedly called me in to help as he had a little accident. What appeared to be a tiny amount of diarrhea in his pj's and on the toilet. I quickly cleaned him up and assured him that nothing is wrong, everyone has an accident. It's from here that I don't know if his embarrassment made him feel this way or if he honestly felt this way but he told me he was sick and he couldn't go to school. I continued to encourage him and got him ready like I normally do. All the while I worried for him, of course I would hate for him to have an accident at school. But his behaviour seemed normal so I continued with routine and got the kids all ready before I headed off to work. As I left, I asked Dave to call me to let me know if anything changes, I would then come home. Well at 7:55am he called to say that Caleb was lying in bed after going to the bathroom again. So I came home. Dave then left with the other 2 as I talked to Caleb. I reminded him that it was a pizza day at school, this made him perk up a bit. He then went to the bathroom again. After this time, he came out saying he felt fine and that he thought he could go to school. So I think I'll take him.
But if I was a stay at home mom, I might have kept him home. Because I would have the freedom to do so. But as it is, I'm missing work, only fretting about how I would make this time up? I'm blessed to have a very understanding boss who is very flexible and has been in the same boat I'm sure.
I want to live a life without regrets. You know?
1 comment:
Charlene, as a mom you will always feel torn between worlds, this I have come to understand although not accept.
When you work you feel guilty for not being 100% focused on the kids. When you are home, you feel guilty for going insane always being with the kids and for not contributing financially to your household.
I honestly beleve there is no solution. I believe whatever path you choose you will always have guilt and play the 'what if' game.
Think about the overall picture - if working 3 days really feels like the best of both worlds then it is the best situation for you. And if you have to take time off to care for your family during a regular day your boss will understand... and if your boss doesn't, then you have to question if that job is the right fit for you.
Try not to feel guilty. If this situation had happened with Patrick and he said he was OK to go to school (even with Pizza day 'bribery') I would have sent him even though I am home.
Being a work-outside-of-the-home mom, even part time, is difficult with kids our age. As they get older I believe it will become easier.
Hugs to you friend, you are an awesome mother!!
Post a Comment