Wow, September starts tomorrow. Really? Where did July and August really go? I can't believe how fast those months flew. Now we're heading into the month that will bring many changes for our family. A new baby, Caleb in school, not working. Lots of little things that require some kind of adjustment for all of us. This all makes me anxious. I don't know how to describe the emotion I feel, because it's weird. When I lay in bed at night I get that "homesick" feeling deep down inside. I tell Dave this and he always responds with "That's weird, you are home".
Today I handed in my maternity leave papers. I wrote down that my last day of work will be Sept. 17. My boss was glad that I was hanging in for so long, but my co-workers think I should head out now! I don't know how many times I've told people that I get more rest being at work, then I would being at home! While talking to my boss, we talked about Caleb starting school. I would have been totally fine with the conversation if only she didn't look directly at me and ask "And how are you feeling about this?" I got all emotional and blubbery! I cried just a little. I can't describe this emotion either. I worry big time about him. It's the first time I worry about him in the real world and if he'll get hurt emotionally, or I worry about him opening up a package to eat something, I have fear that he won't speak up and ask for help when he needs it. I could go on and on about every little detail that I've concerned myself with over the past few weeks, and it just seems that as the day draws closer I'm freaking out a little too much! Having said all this, I do know that he's ready, he'll be fine, and he'll love it. I do know it's all me that is creating this emotional wreck in my mind that I just have to battle with. And from what I've been told, I'm going to battle this for the rest of my life! He's my baby, he'll always be that to me. He's the sweetest little boy and I'm totally in love with him and all his cuteness.
Well. Goodbye August 2010. Too bad you didn't stick around a little longer, with September here, I have no other choice than to be ready for life to change.
1 comment:
Oh Char... change is hard! But, before you know it, it will be old-hat to have a new born and your first born in school.
And I completely understand the 'homesick' feeling while being at home. Its all about the upcoming changes and the desire for everything to remain the same. I get it.
Caleb will be fine at school. He'll get into the groove of the routine quickly. As for packages in lunches, I tend to rip them open a bit to make it easier. With Patrick we had many pic-nics on the living room carpet with the containors I was planning to send in his lunch and soon he was a pro at opening them. You could try that - it would probably make you feel better :)
Sept 17? Wow! Good for you. I couldn't wait to be off work this time and was definely better rested and happier for it.
~Deb
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