I'd Do it Again

This past Sunday was a blast. Benji, Caleb and I left home early and ventured into the metropolis of Toronto. We went as far as Yorkdale and took the subway to Union station. Caleb loved that he got to ride the rocket! Once we made it to the Rogers Centre, we had to wait in line to get to the field where all the trucks were. While waiting I asked Caleb which truck he wanted to see first, Gravedigger? This was my natural assumption because his main truck that gets most play is Gravedigger. When asked, he got a panicked look on his face and said "No Mom" right away. This was odd, but then he insisted on seeing Ironman first. So we saw Ironman, Gravedigger Legend (different truck) and Maximum Destruction. Again I asked about Gravedigger and he was again quick to say no. So we wandered around all the other trucks and then Caleb was ready to leave to his seat. I thought no way were we leaving without visiting Gravedigger and so reluctantly he made it over to the truck and that's when he got all googley-eyed! I think he just couldn't fathom that he was seeing the real Gravedigger in person.
We had great seats, we were right on the side where the trucks come and go from the stadium. Caleb was able to stand at the side and watch them up close, again he looked down in amazement really.

It was an exciting start to the show and Caleb was waving his arms and screaming like the rest of the crowds. It was so much fun to watch him (and the trucks!) He was a little nervous about Robosaurus, and I'm not surprised, we happened to be so close to it that we felt the heat and wind from his flames. And by the end of it (which was the most exciting part where the best trucks would come out and destroy themselves), Caleb was tired and just wanted to go home. But I must say, Monster Jam was such a great show full of entertainment, and I will definately take the kids again, I even believe that Amberly would love it. Now it's just trying to convince Dave of the same thing!!!

BELOVED

Another song I've found that is so moving. Honestly I find it hard to imagine Jesus' love for me, and this song puts it in a different perspective. It's a beautiful song.

Caleb & Amberly Dancing

They love "I Gotta a Feeling" Caleb has some break moves, Amberly's got the party jump down (despite hitting her funny bone at the end) Now if we hear this on a commercial, they always get up to dance.

Challenge 2011

I know the beginning says 2006, but lets challenge ourselves in 2011. Frances Chan is someone I've truly enjoyed listening to, someone who does amazing things for others living like Christ. Lets not live comfortably.

Happy January

Yes, this month is going slow. Or so it seems. Yet, lots of things happened this past week. Caleb started back to school and began a home reading program. Amberly had a few really good days with the potty and a few really bad ones! Joel is staying up much more during the day and is enjoying his exersaucer and fishy mat. While giving him some tummy time (which he doesn't like) he got angry enough to roll himself over onto his back! This is very exciting! Although it makes me realize that he won't stay my ity bity baby, he keeps developing and growing every day. Caleb and Joel are now sleeping in the same room as well. This makes for a more solid sleep for both Mommy and Joel I believe! Dave started his regular routine back at the gym and I bought a swim pass and so far have done one aqua fit session. Once things are really settled I hope to make it to the pool 2 times a week. On top of that I have small group to attend AND Dave and I hope to join a Bible study on Tuesday nights. Busy Busy.

Today I received our Monster Jam tickets in the mail. I'm so excited to be taking Caleb to this. I just know he's going to have a blast! To top it all off, I think I'm going to just go as far as Yorkdale and run the subway into Toronto, he'll love that too!

Not sure what else has gone by that I'm missing. But again, it's only been a week!

What does 2011 Have in Store?

That's right, a new year is here. It's the time of year where plans are made, ideas are set in motion, resolutions are made. Do you have any? I don't normally think of it. In fact I don't like New Years. I don't like staying up late, I love my sleep. I don't understand why it's any different then yesterday? But people love to celebrate. Dave says it's a good excuse to get together. I was exhausted from all the Christmas celebrations, I didn't need another one!
Today I started to think about what I want to see accomplished this year. The first thing I thought about was building a stronger-better relationship with God. Quite often I find myself thinking that something is missing, I need something to make me happy, and ultimately that something is truly and undoubtedly the Lord. The next thing I thought about is myself, physically. I have been feeling so old lately. So unfit. I need to get energized and start feeling better by not longing for more sleep, but by actually getting active again. I'm not sure how this will happen or when, but surely, in small windows of opportunity, I will get going on that. Another thing is I want to read more. I'm motivated most often by the television to find my escape, but I want to start finding that in books again.
Will I accomplish this? I don't know. I'm still a procrastinator at heart, I still have 3 children to look after. I still have a husband who I need to continually build a deeper relationship with. I still have so many things that are piled on top of ME every day that it's hard to find the time to actually work on a better me. But by starting with God, I think everything else will fall into place the way they should.
Happy New Year to all of you.

Oh My, My New Favourite Song!

Christmas Come and Gone

Wow, it always amazes me how quickly Christmas disappears. You spend weeks and weeks, preparing, orgnazing, shopping, baking, wrapping, decorating, for one day to leave for the next day before you know it. I have a slight sadness thinking of how quickly the time went by.
(Joel's first Christmas!)

We had a great time while it lasted though. The kids had a blast. They still are discovering the joy of their new things. In my eye (the parent's eye) the kids did great, we didn't get a whole lot of new toys. They got needed clothes and some movies, books and games. Amberly mostly got dress up clothes which she loves and Caleb got a the Leapster 2 which although educational, is also a new obsession! ha ha ha. I was spoiled too. My hubby got me a heated blanket and new Mary Kay products, his parents got me some socks, a book and a gift card to the mall. Sally had my name this year and she got me new pink pj's which I love, broke them in last night. The new Casting Crowns cd and more socks.


Today I was looking forward to such a nice quiet day. Caleb and Amberly were supposed to go to Christa's but she called this morning saying her daughter was sick :( I'm afraid I'm in for a long day here. Dave is heading to Buffalo for a World Junior game and probably won't be home until after midnight. Oh well. We'll see how adventurous I feel. I was going to go to Toys R Us today to pick something up for Joel as his uncle gave him a gift card for there, but doing that alone with 3 kids may just be a little insane!

Fun in the Snow

While out at my parents, the kids, big and small, got bundled up to have fun in the blustery snow. Drifts are the best for tunnel making. The big boys were digging the tunnels while the little ones enjoyed crawling threw.
This picture has a little story. Benji was working hard at digging a long tunnel. He was at one end while Dave went to the other and the 2 of them worked at digging to reach in the middle. Caleb went running to get to his cousin and fell through the tunnel onto his uncle Benji's head. Caleb was a little shocked and almost in tears while Dave killed himself laughing and Benji was confused!

Goodbye for Now

Goodbye Disney Car pull-ups. Caleb turned 4 and decided he didn't need you anymore to aid in his sleep. So long for now. (Maybe you'll appeal to Amberly one day soon - I hope)

Christmas is Coming!

Christmas is just around the corner now. I think we're pretty much ready. I still have a few things to make food wise, but other than that, bring it on. I love Christmas, the opportunity to see family, to give (I love giving) but most importantly, to celebrate the greatest gift God ever bestowed - His son. It's hard to teach our kids the real reason for Christmas and what is most important to celebrate, when our world we live in is hung up on the possessions that money can buy, and if you don't have the money, then the debt that it's o.k. to go in. I admit, when shopping I want to go overboard and spoil our kids because I can't help but love them so much and want everything for them. But this is the year it's going to count. Caleb is old enough to understand, and so it's time to set in place a standard when it comes to gifts. This year Dave and I got each babe 3 presents. After settling on this number, I heard a lady say that she always got her children 3 presents, just as Jesus received 3, and I loved that idea. This will be our standard. 3 is plenty.
The kids are excited for Christmas to come. They are counting down the sleeps. Below is a picture of my 2 little helpers baking some cookies.

Here are my 2 handsome young men!

Boy, is it ever hard to get a nice picture of 3 little ones all looking at the camera. It didn't happen, but this is sweet enough!

And here's my gorgeous girl. All dressed up in her Christmas dress.

Ooooh, it's just so soon! The anticipation and excitment is starting to fill my heart!

My Four Year Old

Four years have gone by so quickly. I can't believe I entered into the world of motherhood 4 years ago. It seems long ago but at the same time, looking at Caleb, it went so fast. He's my sweetheart. He's kind, and loving. Has the cute timid smile. He's all boy. Loves his monster trucks, Disney's Cars, is found constantly making boy noises. He teases and beats up on his sister. Wants to wrestle and asks to be tickled. Stalls at bedtime, and wants to sleep in. Asks me to carry his school bag, but once we turn the corner towards his class, he insists he carrys it. He excitedly shares what he ate from his lunch in a day. Repeats "I don't know" when asked about anything other than his lunch at school. Sings to himself his songs he learned at school. He eagerly asks to read the Cubbie bear stories (Awana) at night before bed. Puts on a shy smile when about to ask to play the xbox. All these and more are things I want to treasure in my heart always.

To celebrate Caleb's birthday, we split it up over 2 parties. We had one party with my side of the family in O'ville at Stephen and Sally's house. Then on his actual birthday day, we had Dave's side plus a few friends over. Caleb felt pretty special but was really tired when it was all over. He was given many wonderful things and enjoys all of them.
Happy Birthday my wonderful son, I love you so much!

Amberly's ABC's

This is so funny. Her face is the best, you can tell the concentration it takes to say the alphabet!

Caleb's Concert

I took a video of our performing boy. He's pretty darn cute. So is all the little ones! Don't worry this isn't one class, this is 3 classes of kids!

Busy Weekend Begins

Yes, I think this is our busiest weekend. Today we have my work Kids Christmas party, then we head out to O'ville for a combined birthday party celebrating Krista's and Caleb's. Tomorrow we have the normal church and in the afternoon we have a friend's Christmas party to attend. Monday we're having friends and family over to celebrate Caleb's birthday. I'm providing dinner, so I need to get the food all in order as well as clean up our house AND hopefully make enough time so I can go to my department Christmas lunch that day!

This past Thursday Caleb had his first Christmas concert. It was so cute. He got to wear a "blinkin' nose". We saw the pediatrician last thursday. Caleb had to get a chest x-ray done as well as blood tests. The poor little guy, he doesn't understand what's going on, but he's so brave. He didn't even cry when they took his blood. We go back on this coming Thursday to see what happens next, if anything. Some explainations were shared that left Dave and I worried for our little guy, so keep us in your prayers.

Joel is doing great, he's had 3 nights now where he slept 8 hours. I'm very excited about this, however, I have yet to sleep that. I kept getting up to check on him and then pretty much laid there waiting for him to make a noise or wake up! It will come, this is a good sign of long nights to come....right?!?!

Amberly keeps putting on her best show for Christa, doing the whole potty thing for her. But for us....not a chance! I'm still at the place where I don't care, I just don't have time or the patience (which is sleep related) to persist with her. I know she can do it, it's just a matter of her wanting to be a big girl for her mommy!

Anyway, I hear a little bit of chatter upstairs. I'm looking forward to our full weekend, I just hope I don't get stressed out about it all!

Depraved Indifference

If you have the time, I would encourage you to listen to this and ask yourself, what are you willing to do? Anything?



It brought tears to my eyes and broke my heart. We have to stand up. I have to stand up.

Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Yep, I love seeing the white stuff fall down and blanket the ground. It's a peaceful reminder that Christmas is coming. Caleb also reminds us that his birthday is coming. I guess it wasn't the greatest idea to tell him (back in July) that when the snow falls means his birthday is here. Now every time he sees it snow, he asks when can he have presents for his birthday?? ha ha ha. Soon it will be close enough to tell him how many sleeps it is!
To teach our kids the importance of giving, and helping those who are in great need, both Caleb and Amberly filled a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. Not only is it a wonderful organization, but it allows us the chance to teach our kids how lucky they really are, and how it's important to share and give to those little ones who have nothing.
We decked our halls last weekend, and we're so pleased with the outcome.

A good time was had by all, except the littlest one. This guy has the cutest sad face ever!


Our weeks seem to be flying by with activities and the comings and goings of everyone. Caleb has school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and every other Friday. Amberly goes to Christa's on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Caleb has swimming on Wednesday afternoons. I have small group Wednesday nights. Amberly has swimming Saturday mornings. The kids go to Awana on Thursday nights. It's probably just a glimpse of what scheduling will look like in a couple more years - Crazy!

Caleb and Amberly love going to Awana. I'm amazed at how well Caleb does memorizing scriptures. This week's verse is "Jesus said, Friend, your sins are forgiven." Caleb has it almost except instead of saying forgiven he says, "your sins are coming" it sounds pretty threatening coming from a 3 (soon to be 4) year old!

Our xbox died conveniently a couple of weeks ago. Dave figured the cost to have it fixed would almost be the cost of a new one. So we broke down and got a new one. With the new Kinect of course. Caleb loves it. We all are enjoying, I think my favourite part is watching Caleb play. I loved it so much, I had to tape it and share with you!

Love will Hold Us Together

Make us a Shelter to Weather the Storm


Matt Maher is a new favourite.....

News

Lots has been happening in our household and I feel like time is just slipping away. Almost every day there is something going on or has to get done and by the time I reach the evening hours I'm done! Here's a little update of how things are going.

Caleb is still loving school. Dave and I had a parent teacher interview last week and she is quite please with how well Caleb has adjusted, as if he's been doing it for a long time. I also went in for an observation this week and sat and watched their activity time. Caleb ignored me. I called him over and asked about the toy he was playing with and he approached me and then turned away! Oh dear, at least I know he's feeling comfortable there. When Joel was born Caleb developed a swollen gland on his left side. When we took Joel in for his 5 day check, the doctor examined Caleb and measured the size of the gland. She wanted to see him back again when we took Joel for his 1 month. We did that yesterday and because the gland hasn't gone back to normal we've been referred to a pediatrician and we have to have an ultrasound done on it. The doctor told me not to be too worried about it. I just worry, that's what I do best!

Amberly is my handful. The past two weeks I've been struggling with finding ways to discipline her effectively. So far everything I've tried doesn't work. I'm about ready to just tie her up to something and leave her there. I know that she's acting out because of Joel. But at the same time I think it's also a girl thing. She's not using the potty just BECAUSE!!! She will poop on it, or she'll just poop in her diaper just to get a reaction. This I've learned from and now I don't react!

Joel is doing lovely. I've successfully got him on a schedule with out any problems. He is a gassy guy, so he's fussy a lot of the time. But our nights are getting better he's sleeping solidly from his last feed at 10pm to 2am. At his 1 month check up he now weighs 11lbs 11oz and is 23.6 inches long. He's smiling at us and when awake he's so alert.

Dave and I are doing well, settling into a routine of parenting 3 kids. We seemed to have turned a corner where we can actually get some time for ourselves in the evenings again when the kids are in bed. We're busy with church things through the week, but have no other commitments outside of that so we do have more free time together. He went to Promise Keepers yesterday and stayed the night and will be home today sometime. I was nervous to be home alone at night with all 3 kids. But I did o.k. I may go to bed at 7pm tonight, but I did o.k.

I better run and check on the kids now.

Halloween Fun

This year Halloween seemed like a blur. We did manage to get to the pumpkin patch to pick out our pumkins, but failed to carve them this year. I'm o.k. with that, and the kids didn't seem to have missed anything. Caleb was the elephant again this year and Amberly was a kitty cat. Joel was a skeleton. This wasn't my first choice, but only choice as I left it until last minute.



The neighbours down the street went all out and the kids enjoyed looking at all the stuff.


We only did 1 side of 2 streets. It was so cold out, by the time we made it to our finish, I was so glad! We ended at our friends place where a little party was planned. We each brought some appetizers and Christa organized a few games for the little ones. It was a blast, everyone had a great time! Overall I think there were 10 children under the age of 5 at the festivities!


The party was such a hit that it will be a definate thing for years to come. Above is the game the kids loved (even us big ones) where we had to eat donuts without the use of our hands!

One Month Already!

It's hard to believe that a month has already passed by. Joel is so alert, he's smiling now and he has developed a face of his own. We've successfully got him on a schedule where he feeds at 10-2-6 around the clock. I'm so pleased to have been able to do that without any problems. The only issue we do have is he's pretty gassy. The poor little guy gets very fussy in the evenings and sometimes to my dismay, this can carry on through out the whole night. No sleep can be very difficult. He loves bath time too, this is usually the time he talks and smiles at Mommy.

He sure is a keeper.

Romance and Longing

We used to have a set time at 9:30pm every single night where we would meet. I would get wrapped in warmth, comfort, and always felt at ease and in the perfect safe place. He would make me feel loved, rejuvenated, happy, relaxed and at peace. Without him I'm feeling lost.

I am talking about my romantic involvement with Sleep. I miss and long to be reunited with him.

We've been finding ways to sneak away and be with each other. I anxiously run around after lunch time rushing the kids to nap so that I may have the same pleasure. I find a way to rekindle some rest in the car if Dave is driving, even if it's only 5 or 10 mins. I even went as far as to being risky and actually fell into the arms of my sleep while in the bath tub.

I feel like I'm falling apart with out my Sleep. I miss and long for him every day. After the dinner hour comes and goes, I get a bit of an anxiety wondering what my night will be like and how much time will be stolen from Sleep and I.

As much as I love my little Joel, and want to treasure every moment of his precious life, deep down I will always have a flame for sleep and a longing to be reunited to him at my regular time of 9:30pm with out any interruptions until at least 7am!

I'm in love with Sleep.

Joel

Love his stretches.
Content in the swing.
My Kiddies and I.
He's pretty precious.
Love his toes.

Thanksgiving

Lots to be thankful for this year. It was a nice weekend. Saturday we had Dave's family over for dinner. Because of the timing and things being crazy, we ordered a big chinese meal for our dinner. It was perfect, I haven't had chinese in a long time! Sunday it was just my little family. We took Joel to church for the first time. In the afternoon we took the kids out for a nice walk along one of the trails here. Monday we headed to my parents for the day. We celebrated both my Dad and brother's birthdays and had a nice turkey dinner. Here are a few pictures of our weekend....




Would have some more, but having trouble with uploading the pic's....

Joel Benjamin

I just thought I would tell the story of Joel's birth to help me remember the details for later down the road.

Starting on Wednesday Sept. 29th, I had a doctor's appt. with my ob. He checked me and I was 3-4cms. This time he told me that he added my name on the list to be induced Thursday in the hospital. This was followed by the statement that it may not happen if the hospital is busy, but a non-stress test would be in order if I don't. I was instructed to call the hospital Thursday morning before 7:30am. I continued through the day making arrangements for the kids and getting everything ready, all the while still preparing myself that Thursday may not be the day.

Thursday morning rolled around and I started the day out normally, waking up at 6:50am and getting the kids ready to go to Christa's. It was about 7:15am when I decided to get the phone and number ready to call the hospital. Just as I was doing that, the phone rang and it was the hospital calling to ask me to come in. My emotions were going nuts as I scrambled to get myself, the kids and Dave ready for the day where all life was about to change. We got the kids to the sitters for 8am and from there went to the hospital. We got there around 8:30am. We got registered and our nurse came to greet us and take us to the delivery room where she had me strip down into a gown and find a comfortable position on the bed. Our nurse's name was Judy. She informed me that Dr. Anstett just went into a scheduled c-section, so he wouldn't be in until later to break my water. In the meantime she started me on oxytocin to get contractions going. That didn't really make much of a difference for me, I couldn't really feel anything. My doctor came in around 11am and broke my water, and increased the drip. This brought on some very painful contractions. They were so low down and brought tears to my eyes everytime they happened. I lasted maybe 1.5 hours with this pain. Both my nurse and Dave were so quiet, I had on either side of me, them reading their magazines, while I was left alone with nothing distracting me but that pain. Finally my nurse looked at me and saw me crying and asked if I would like the epidural now. "YES PLEASE" was my response! It was maybe 12:45 when I received that. Which was painful in itself, but what magic it was. Once I had that, I was able to just sit back and relax! The nurse checked me at 4:30 and told me that I was ready, fully dilated and the head was right there. Another nurse named Brenda then came in. (Brenda was my nurse for Caleb and Amberly, she knew I was there, so she said she might as well be present for my 3rd too!) Both nurses chatted and called my doctor who was in his office. It would take him 5 mins. to come, and Judy said to Brenda, "He may be mad at me for calling him because I know he likes to see the ears when he comes in" Brenda then told her that she will get me to push just once to at least tell the doctor that I was pushing. So they had me push once. Then I heard Brenda tell Judy "well, he'll be happy now" implying that the ears were there! This was all so bizarre to me, because with Caleb, when it was time to push I could feel the severe pressure down below and my whole body was trembling. This time I could feel just a tiny bit of pressure, and that was it! Dr. Anstett came in and they had me push once. Then they had me push twice, and presto, Joel entered the world! I couldn't believe it, I kept saying "No way, No way!" Brenda took him over to clean him up and then my tears started to flow. It was so quiet in the room, with only 5 adults there, something I was so not expecting. The doctor continued to work below, I had torn a bit I guess. While he was stitching me up, he and Dave were talking about the 4th baby. Brenda piped up and said this was not the time to be having these discussions men!
It was just an amazing experience this time. God was with me the whole time. The kids came in with Dave's parents to meet their new little brother. The night went well with the young nurse I had. And we were able to get out in the morning. We were home by 11am Friday. My parents had stayed with the kids. Everyone is adjusting still.
Caleb seems to be having the most problems with Joel. He acts out and whines a lot. He's not his normal sweet self. But in time I know he'll come around. Amberly loves her baby brother. Often gives kisses and wants to look at him, and so far that's it, no threat of harm coming from her yet!
I'm adjusting o.k. One of the questions everyone asks me is if I'm nursing. I'm not. I told myself I would try, and I did. I did in the hospital and for the first full day at home and that was it. The memory of what I went through with Caleb came back, and fear of not knowing how much Joel was eating. My breaking point was when I was nursing and both Caleb and Amberly were in their bed crying out for mommy, and I couldn't go to them. Once I decided to make the switch, the wieght on my shoulders was gone and I felt a greater confidence in myself. Nursing is not for me. I know people would call me selfish for saying that. Believe me, I have suffered the guilt over it, and cried enough over it. But the bottom line is, Joel is thriving and happy and so is mommy.
Well, I could go on and on about Joel and what a good baby he is. We are lucky to get 4 hour stretches from him through the night. His fussy times are in the evening before our bedtime, where he seems to want to eat every 2 hours. But I'm o.k. with that. I do feel anxious each night wondering what he'll do, and if I'll get sleep. But again, the Lord has been truly good to me, and Joel has been amazing.
I better go, need to spend some time with Dave.

Again, Still Waiting.....

It's Sunday evening and this little guy still remains to make a grand entrance. With each morning I wake up asking God if today will be the day, "please may it be today". By the time noon rolls around, the frustration starts to sink in, and my feelings of being uncomfortable are magnified, and I just wish it was time. Then by the time dinner is over and bed time routines begin and end, I sit and relax after the kids are tucked in now able to accept that today was in fact not the day. But begin to hope that I will get one more nights rest in before the big event.

This has been what my last 4 or 5 days have been like. I ride these emotional hills, and I'm tired of doing it.

Thursday's appt. was uneventful (as you may see) My ob entered the room with a regrettable tone declaring that it won't happen tonight with his help because the hospital was crazy busy, and there was a waiting list of women who needed to be induced. Deep down I felt that this was probably a normal story that he can tell, I have no idea otherwise right? He proceeded to check me, in the week since he last saw me, nothing changed. I was still 2-3 cm's dilated. This time he caused a little more pain as he stretched my cervix in hopes that this would help my water to break on it's own sooner than later. I left with another appt. booked for this coming Wednesday and feeling pretty discouraged.

From how he describes it, I understand why I couldn't be induced last week. They can't use the normal methods of drugs to induce such as cervidil, that they would give and then have you do whatever to wait for active labour. Because they will only induce by breaking my water, that requires a labour room, it's not like they can just break it and wait for something to happen. Then Dave has a buddy whose wife was on that waiting list to be induced last week, and he told him that there was "like 100 babies" born in those past few days.

I am really hoping that I won't make it until Wednesday, deep down I do hope things will begin naturally on their own. I never anticipated being pregnant still. I my mind I would have had this baby over a week ago already. Now the idea of him holding on for October is threatening me!

Still Waiting

I'm here. Waiting for this little guy to come. Between you and me, I think he's pretty comfortable, and doesn't really want to come. I've been off since Friday, thinking each morning, today could be the day. But then the evening rolls around and I'm back in bed struggling to find a comfortable position and having difficulty sleeping in general.

Tomorrow I have an appt. with my ob. I'll be 40 weeks. Last week's appt. I had an internal done, and was told I was 2 cm's dilated, and my cervix was softening. He then proceeded to talk about what next week could bring if I make it to tomorrow. He's on call at the hospital tomorrow night, so he mentioned that perhaps he would have me come in and he would break my water and see what happens. He doesn't recommend that I go over by much, I think he's concerned about the size of the baby. So I'm not going to stop him, as much as I would love for things to start naturally on their own, I'm not going to try and break a record or anything. So I wonder now what he'll have to say tomorrow. I don't want to believe that tomorrow will be the day, he said it would depend on things at the hospital and stuff. So, again I wait. Wondering. Sometimes worrying. Eager. Bored. Ready.

Caleb's First Official Full Day of School

Today marked a big day in the life of our Caleb. He had his first day of Junior Kindergarten. He was really excited. The fact that he gets 2 lunches was a thrill, and when we would ask him about the upcoming day, his main focus was that he gets 2 desserts (such a boy). Dave took Amberly to the sitters as usual, where I stayed home with Caleb and prepared him for the day. I packed his lunch, and showed him all his food and what to eat and when. We picked out what shoes he wanted to wear to school and what shoes he wanted to take for indoors. We packed up his back pack with his lunch, shoes and a bag of extra emergency clothes. We headed out the door. (I made an attempt to feed him breakfast, and he didn't finish his toast, and wolfed down his yogurt) Once we got to the school, I walked him up to the crossing guard and greeted her. Then we went behind the school to his door where he was to line up. There he met Mason, his older buddy who is in his class as an SK. From there, he ran and greeted his babysitter Christa with a big hug, and all the other daycare kids were there telling him that they were going to find him at recess.
Then the bell rang. I walked him over to the line, and Mason made room for him. I asked Mason to be Caleb's big helper for me today and he said sure. I bent down and looked Caleb in his eyes and told him I loved him. Then I gave him a little squeeze and asked for a high five. The teacher then opened the door and in marched Caleb, no turning back. I had tears well up in my eyes as the teacher started to close the door and say goodbye to us parents. But I held my composure. I then said my goodbyes to Amberly and Christa and headed to work. Christa told me how she found McQueen cupcake papers and that she planned on baking him special cupcakes to commemorate his first day of school and I sighed and said "gee, I even forgot to brush his teeth, let alone think of something like that!"
Once arriving at work, I had a couple of co-workers ask me about how things went, and I was able to keep it together, but knew if one more person asked, I was going to lose it. So I went into my friend's office and balled my eyes out! I mean the total "ah ah ah ahhhh" sob. But after I got the tears all out I was o.k. and before I knew it, it was after 3 and I was heading out to pick him up. The bell rang at 3:30 and out he came, with smiles on. The teacher told me that she only had him and one other JK there today, and that he was great. No accidents, picked up the routines quickly and seemed to enjoy himself. Caleb walked up to me and I gave him a great big hug and he asked me to carry his back pack. Then he saw Christa, and gave her a big hug while she presented him with his special cupcakes. We made our way back to the van with Amberly and I asked him a million questions to which he answered "I don't Know" to. So I really have no idea what happened at his first day. I know he played with Mason at recess. Oh and I know that the teacher helped him get his button done up after going potty. He's so cute he says to me "Constantinou did up my button" He fails to put Mrs. in front of her name, so to him her name is just Constantinou! That makes me laugh. As a family celebrating his first day, we went to East Side Mario's for dinner with Dave's parents. We had a really nice dinner.
It's hard to see my little guy grow up and like my Mom said, it will be hard to see him come home with changes knowing that I've missed a piece of his life. It's really hard to let go. This is the first step to many life steps he'll be making. I want to cherish every moment because I know it will go by so fast and before I know it, he'll be a man!
I love you my dear gentle Caleb.

Trying to Control These Feelings

Oh dear. It's always in the evening when I feel bombarded, overwhelmed with emotions. Tomorrow is really just a normal day. The only thing different about it is I'm taking a later lunch to take Caleb to his school and meet his teacher. It's only 30 mins of my day, but I'm feeling pretty emotional about it. It's just craziness! Yesterday at church during worship time we sang how God never changes, and although I have sang this song countless times in the past, yesterday it touched my heart. As much as I dislike change in my life, I know I can always hold tight on the Lord because He never changes. I try to remind myself of this fact in moments like now where I feel attacked by the constant reminders of how much my life will be turned upside down in the next few weeks.

I worked hard to make sure I can be prepared for life to change in our house. Saturday Dave and I tackeled cleaning the house and completly finishing the final touches in the boys room. We set up the bassinet in our room, washed all things baby and even set the car seat in the van. We're ready for this little guy to come. I'm just not. I haven't begun to pack a bag for myself. I keep telling myself I want to go and get something special for Caleb and Amberly from the baby (Deb's idea) but never am I motivated to do this. We have a name for him (I think!) but we haven't ever firmed up a plan for when labour actually occurs. Who to call, when and stuff. I'm just hoping it will happen during the week, so the kids can maintain a regular schedule and be with Christa, she's their second home anyway. I know that anyone we call on for help will be here for us at the drop of a hat, but again, it's the fear of the unknown, when, how, where???

ANYWAY.....Sunday was a fun day. We went to church and from there headed to my parents for the afternoon. My entire family was there and it was great to see everyone. We went over to the O'ville fair. I think we made it extra special for Caleb. This year 2 Monster trucks were there. One you could ride and one that actually crushed cars for show. This impressed me big time. After watching too many hours of MonsterJam on tv with Caleb, to see one in person, close up and see it tackle cars was amazing! The quiet joy on Caleb's face made it all worth while. He rode the monster truck with Benji quite proudly. He even went on a few rides and then watched the demolition derby. He kept asking me when the Monster truck was going to come back, but I think he liked seeing the cars crash up a bit.

Well, I think I'm going to relax for a bit (or try too) Kids are sleeping, Dave is working (poor guy) so I noticed 27 Dresses was on Showtime, so I think I may watch that!

Last Day of August

Wow, September starts tomorrow. Really? Where did July and August really go? I can't believe how fast those months flew. Now we're heading into the month that will bring many changes for our family. A new baby, Caleb in school, not working. Lots of little things that require some kind of adjustment for all of us. This all makes me anxious. I don't know how to describe the emotion I feel, because it's weird. When I lay in bed at night I get that "homesick" feeling deep down inside. I tell Dave this and he always responds with "That's weird, you are home".

Today I handed in my maternity leave papers. I wrote down that my last day of work will be Sept. 17. My boss was glad that I was hanging in for so long, but my co-workers think I should head out now! I don't know how many times I've told people that I get more rest being at work, then I would being at home! While talking to my boss, we talked about Caleb starting school. I would have been totally fine with the conversation if only she didn't look directly at me and ask "And how are you feeling about this?" I got all emotional and blubbery! I cried just a little. I can't describe this emotion either. I worry big time about him. It's the first time I worry about him in the real world and if he'll get hurt emotionally, or I worry about him opening up a package to eat something, I have fear that he won't speak up and ask for help when he needs it. I could go on and on about every little detail that I've concerned myself with over the past few weeks, and it just seems that as the day draws closer I'm freaking out a little too much! Having said all this, I do know that he's ready, he'll be fine, and he'll love it. I do know it's all me that is creating this emotional wreck in my mind that I just have to battle with. And from what I've been told, I'm going to battle this for the rest of my life! He's my baby, he'll always be that to me. He's the sweetest little boy and I'm totally in love with him and all his cuteness.
Well. Goodbye August 2010. Too bad you didn't stick around a little longer, with September here, I have no other choice than to be ready for life to change.

Mixing classic with new, it's beautiful

Now a Cold?

I'm having a rough week. I've got this chest cold that just sucks really! I'm coughing and gagging and flemmy and it's just not pleasant to live with. Today I've stayed home from work because I didn't want to expose the terrible sounds I make to fellow co-workers! I hope it gets better quick!

I've been really wanting to enjoy the last few weeks I have being pregnant. The best part about pregnancy is the baby moving, and this baby moves. It's just amazing. His little bum sticks right out mostly on my left side, sometimes I truly look lopsided! But generally when his bum pokes up it will move from the left side over to the centre of my belly and then back to the left side. The movement is so define and clear it's just amazing. I love watching it. Feeling it too is just wonderful. I can press on one side and actually feel him in there. I don't remember feeling this way with either Caleb or Amberly. Amberly was so small and in hindsight I should have known that because near the end I always struggled with feeling her move, I actually had to go to hospital one time to be hooked up and wait for movement. But so far with this guy, when I press down on where I think his bum is, he never fails to give me a nudge or a kick.

This past weekend a bunch of our friends and their families went to Earl Rowe park camping. Our family went. I drove a seperate vehicle and went and stayed with my parents for the nights, but it was fun. The kids all had a blast with eachother. I hope this will become a tradition for us all.



Well, I'm going to sit and drink a cup of tea and figure out what the make for my lunch. Then I will probably sleep for the afternoon before getting the kids....

Loving the Kids

Caleb has been finished with soccer for a couple weeks now, but here's one action I captured, just before scoring a goal.


Caleb is now in his big boy bed. He keeps asking why his bed is so big. I just keep telling him that he's my big boy now. The other thing he keeps asking is if the baby is ready to come out. I tell him that he'll be ready very soon, he's still growing inside. Unfortunately this question is followed by the obvious "Mommy, how does the baby get out of your belly?" The first time he asked this I just laughed and really didn't know what to say. Now I just tell him that the baby comes out with the help from God, and that it's a miracle! So far this answer seems to satisfy his curiousity (thank goodness)

My parents were here for the day to watch the kids. Caleb is very much a Gramma's boy. Apparently he didn't want Grandpa to play with him, only Gramma! After they left he told me about everything he did with Gramma, how she played cars with him and that she took him outside and he played on the swing, slide and sandbox. He even whispered that she gave him smarties in the morning and after nap! Amberly was able to tell me that she watched the digger with Papa on the front porch. They had a great day. So much so that Caleb wasn't happy to see me at the end.

We're one step closer to being ready for the baby to come. His bag is now packed. I have a few things I need for the hospital. I'm just not sure how much to prepare for because I really don't know how this labour is going to end! I'm hoping for a VBAC, but I guess I need to be prepared for a 3 day hospital stay. I see the ob tomorrow and I think I'm going to voice my concern about how things will end and I hope that he may send me for another ultrasound. Who knows?

What Have I Done Today to Help Someone Who is Hurting?

On Sunday I felt something hard to explain in words. I don't know, maybe I'm very judgemental, maybe I hold onto my possessions too closely, but by the end of the night, I felt a lack in something that I felt God was trying to point out to me. We've been the recipient of some wonderful things. A dear friend told me she was going through her kids closets today and would I like the stuff that is too small for our kids. I truly appreciate that, and accepted, but was left feeling that I need to do something in return, owe her something. Then I started to think, have I ever returned the favour by passing it on to someone else? No. Or I have but not with a happy feeling, I had a hard time letting go. (It could be because it's hard to let go of baby girl things, but still....) Although I have received some wonderful things, I feel as though I don't know how to be a giver of wonderful things, that I can bestow on someone else.
On the same day I felt a conviction on how I treat people. I realized that I don't know how to treat someone I consider different and don't understand. There's a wall that I quickly put up and when approached for conversation I get short and full of one worded answers. I also am quick to jump into gossip, I don't want to miss out on anything.
Tonight I just finished watching a session of Joyce Meyer where her last question was, "What have I done today to help someone who is hurting." She also emphasized the power of our words and how there is life and death in our tongues. That our hearts are deceitful and what comes from our mouth is from the heart. I struggle with this a lot at work. As much as I would like to think I'm a "sweetheart" I really am not. I need to ask God for His help, and transform my heart to show love and compassion for those who are hurting, and for those who are different.
This post is probably confusing and all over the place, but by getting it out there, I think I have figured things out...

Names on the Mind

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that we know we're having a boy this time around. I don't know. What ever it is, it's getting to be crunch time and we still haven't named this little fellow! There's only about 5.5 weeks left (if that) and we can't settle on a name that we both like. There are 2 possibilities, but even still, I think about it all the time, and the more I think about it the more I grow to not love them! And then, there's the middle name, we haven't even begun to even think about that! YIKES!
There isn't much on our plate today, so I think we're going to enjoy the day and go out shopping. (Well I'll enjoy that, I'm not sure my man will) We have to get Caleb ready for school finding him a special back pack and lunch pail. I want to find a cute hospital outfit for this little one and a special soft blanket, just like the one my other two have as their special blankies. Maybe even look at the diaper bags. (They are like purses, I could use the one from before, but I feel it's time for a change!) I have the list from the hospital of all the "products" I'll need for myself and the baby, diapers, pads, all the things I don't really want to think about!
The house is almost set up and ready for when the big arrival happens. Caleb's bed was delivered on Thursday, and all the clothes are moved around and put in the proper rooms and places. The baby stuff is out and washed, folded and put away. The only thing left to do is find a shelf unit of sorts that will fit in a certain area of the boys room to put all the books and stuff that once sat on top of Caleb's dresser. That and I need to pull out the swing, bouncey chair, bassinet and mobile and get those cleaned and set up. We're almost there!
I couldn't sleep in this morning. 6am my hips were just killing me, and the little boy was moving so much that I just couldn't just lay there anymore. So here I am. I may crawl back into bed soon, for warmth. It's freezing in here!

Highs and Lows

This past weekend was such a busy one. It was rewarding, challenging, frustrating, heartbreaking all rolled up in just 3 days. Starting at the beginning, Friday I was up before the sun and picked up to head down into Toronto. Joyce Meyer was at the Air Canada Centre for a few days and I looked forward to going and see her. She is one pretty neat speaker. I believe people have a love/hate thing for her, you either love her, or hate her. She's very blunt, direct, practical and won't sugar coat much. But I believe people need to hear it blunt like how she offers, and I quite enjoy listening to her messages. Darlene Zschech was her worship leader, which was just the icing on top of the cake. I love Hillsongs. Here's the one and only picture I took that day...

There was a 10am session and a 7pm session. So the time in between that we walked up to the Eaton's centre, had lunch and wandered around that mall for a bit. Then headed down to the lake front and spent the rest of our time there. I definitely over did it with all the walking. My feet and ankles no longer resembled human! The 7pm session was fabulous. Her message was so great, and the worship was powerful, and the ACC was packed full. It was just amazing. The whole day was rewarding. I was home by 11:30pm.
Saturday the alarm went off at 6am. I literally cried to Dave asking him if that meant I had to get up. He said no, that he had to but that the alarm was going off again at 6:30am and I would need to be up then. You see, it was garage sale day. It was a very long day. I discovered that I really do not like the garage sale scene. Dave had a ball tournament, so Benji came for the day to spend with the kids while I was stuck bickering prices with random strangers! Things got wrapped up around 4pm, and my brother was relieved from his duties earlier than that. Dave didn't get home until after 7pm, so needless to say, rest was not received on Saturday.
Sunday when I woke, I debated the thought of staying home from church while Dave took the kids. Then I realized that this Sunday I could actually go and sit with my husband for the service. So I managed to get myself going for the day. Little did I know that when it came time to drop the kids off at the nursery, the scheduled worker didn't show. I was left there, with Christa and 7 kids. I didn't mind doing that, but when I have something in mind that I looked forward to and it didn't happen, caught me off guard. On our short 2 minute drive home, I bawled my eyes out. I was TIRED! After the kids were fed their lunch and put to bed, I went straight to bed myself. I slept for about an hour. Dave arranged to have his parents come over and stay with the kids for dinner while he and I went out to Montana's for a dinner date. That was nice.
I'm still recovering from the weekend. I don't get sleep much at night. I haven't been feeling well. In fact I was worried that all my activity this weekend may have thrown me into preterm labour, there were a few things I started to experience, but thankfully they seem to have past. It's way too early for that! But this baby is an athlete. He's forever moving, this I love, but there comes a point where I wouldn't mind a little bit of a rest! Maybe all this action on the inside will translate to a tired baby on the outside?

Things on the Go...

It's odd, when I should be taking things easy, it seems that life has become crazy busy! This past weekend was a little nuts. Leading up to the weekend, I thought, well, not much happening, should get things done. Little did I know that getting things done required me to work! ha ha ha. Friday night Dave got home and we moved the kids furniture around. Now the crib is set up and ready for this little one to arrive. It's in Caleb's room with the change table/dresser. Amberly graduated from the crib to the toddler bed with flying colours, it was like she's always been in it. Caleb is currently sleeping on an air mattress. We know what bed we're getting him from Home Hardware, but it's a matter of ordering.
Saturday we did more sorting of toys, clothes and general stuff. My mother-in-law is having a garage sale this weekend, so we're going to set up a table of things. Then we drove out to the farm to meet Norma. She took family pictures for us and I just wanted to see her, I haven't in AGES! We had a great time, and it felt so great being there. I miss it very much.
She took most of the photo's on her own camera but used our camera for a few, so that's one of them. She'll mail us the disc of hers which I can't wait to see. Leaving the farm we went out for dinner and the kids were as good as gold and I just truly enjoyed my afternoon. Seeing Norma, watching the kids run free with Sophie, and seeing peace on my hubby's face, it was amazing.
Sunday we headed to church and after that went to Elora with friends to have a picnic lunch at a park with a free splash pad. The kids had a blast. After that, we came home and just relaxed somewhat. We continued to work and put things in order. Mike and Joy came over after dinner to show us pictures of their trip to Brazil. It was a good day.
Monday we headed to my parents for the day. My family was there to celebrate birthdays. Mine, Sally's and Denise's. The kids had a blast again. The freedom of running around without worry suits them well.
I saw my ob today. I lost 2 pounds. Probably because I'm sick again! It's amazing how it works, 4pm rolls around and I'm feeling gross. So I feel like a bird in the evening, barely eating anything. Tonight was Caleb's last day of soccer. He even scored a goal! He had a great night and season. I'm sure we'll do it again next summer.
This Friday I'm taking the day off of work and heading to Toronto with friends to see Joyce Meyer and Darlene Zchech(sp?) I'm so looking forward to it. But it's going to be a long day. We're leaving Elmira at 5:45am and probably not getting home until 11pm or later. Then I have to be up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning for the garage sale. Man, whose idea was this anyway? Oh well, I'll survive, I hope! I just hope it doesn't bring on labour, I know how much easier it is to have this little fellow inside instead of out!

Alive Again

Loving this song these days. Loving it!

A Quiet Night

This week at Christa's is "Camp" week. Yesterday she took the kids to the Floridale dam and went fishing. Caleb caught 10 catfish and even Amberly caught a couple. They set up their tent in the back yard and made crafts revolving a campfire. Today was more events surrounding the camp theme, and tonight she's having the kids sleep over in the tent! So my son was so excited today. He got to take his sleeping bag and pillow and pj's. Amberly didn't stay, she's quite young and I didn't want to hold Christa back from certain activities with the older ones. When I came to get Amberly, Caleb was so happy not to be leaving! I actually got a big hug and kiss from him before he said "Bye Mommy" and "Bye Amberly". He was excited that Amberly had to go home and not him!
I miss him terribly though. I have the homesick feeling for him.
I asked Amberly what she wanted to do with Mommy tonight and she said she wanted to ride in her stroller. I said that was a great idea and after supper we would do that. Well I totally forgot that Benji took the stroller home for us due to our lack of space on the weekend. When I told her that, she again repeated the issue to me over and over again. All I could do is laugh. "Unckey Benji has my stroller" and the tone in her voice, it sounds nasally and almost raspy, it's hilarious. We had our bike stroller which was fine for her, but even on our walk she brought up Benji and the stroller. She's just so funny. More and more every day she's getting more words and more personality, I just take in every moment. She's beautiful. Dave and I love her so much!
After getting her to bed, Dave went to baseball, and now here I am, home in a very quiet house.